We have a maid, whom i generally
meet on weekends owing to office on weekdays and hence, hardly include in a
chit chatter with her, stumbled me today! She asked, me, in a lighter tone-
"So Madam, when are you preparing?" I asked-" Preparing for
what?" She makes a sign in the form of a curve around her belly and I was
like "really? What? You, the least of all who should be concerned about my
future motherhood!" I dismissed the
conversation with a meek smile, I just didn't feel good about her asking me
about something so private about my life! And a thought struck me- we, the
women, are we each other’s friends or foes? She went on to say-" its been
two years you have been married, it does not look good if you don't do it
now!" So , now other than my own mother, my mother in law, all my friends
and extended family, this maid of mine is so equally concerned for me to make a
move towards the next ideal step of my life! As if the first step of getting
married wasn't enough to keep up with!
In a patriarchal society like
ours, women are always subject to the idea of idealism, a life of being a good
daughter, then a daughter in law, and then a mother, subject to the niceties of
behavior, dress code and profession! It is only we who carry the 'maryada' of
our families, all hell breaks loose if we wear something 'inappropriate' , get
involved in an 'inappropriate' behaviour and pick up an 'inappropriate'
profession that does not allow us to spoon feed our families! In present times,
what wonders me is that women themselves behaving like these nasty rule makers
and trying to inflict and enforce them on other women! Why the hell should I have
a baby if you had one and because everyone is supposed to have one? Why the
hell should I choose another profession just so that I could be half a
housewife?
Men or women, when subjected to
long periods of constraint life conditions, do get accustomed to that! What saddens
me is these very men and women start expecting fellow men and women to become
like them, one among the herd! I deny to become a sheep, I deny to be ‘one
among the herd’! I like to play by my own rules, my life, my decisions, being
fully aware that it might never turn out the way I want! If 90% of population
abides by a set standards of perfection, does not make these standards ‘logically
right and unquestionable’! It is just that they have been made to follow these
who in turn made others to follow them!
Women, you need to stand up for
yourselves, you need to make yourself heard and not tamed! You need to
understand the difference between right and wrong, sensible and nonsense! You
need to start questioning ‘why’ and not ‘how’? Women have equal potential as
men, we are no less in capabilities, but we score certainly less in ambitions,
the passion for excellence, the lust for achievement! We should not join the
workforce merely to be an additional earning hand in family, we should work
because we would like to work, we would like to be recognized as a good
employee, a good boss, a good leader, a good human who contributed to society
at large!
Not that I am saying women who
are housewives, take care of family and would not like to have a career , are
any less, but it certainly should be their choice, an informed decision! Nothing
comes easy in life, not even motherhood! But the pain is worth taking if
desired, not forced upon!
‘Legit’ does not always converts
into ‘unquestionable’ and anything that is ‘questionable’, need not be
objective with only one answer.
